I know I haven't been here in a while. Life. You know.
Anyway, God is doing great things in my life. There have been some low lows, high highs, and then the typical sorta in-between times, where I just trudge along.
I've faced some pretty heavy duty trials. I had a job for a few months that was really stressful, and took a toll on me. I worked extremely hard, but my boss was never really satisfied. The guy had a serious anger problem, as well as a host of other issues. I busted my butt and lost my job anyway. It just wasn't meant to be. I also risked losing my insurance by working there. I have a lot of health issues, and am on Medicaid, and if I work too many hours, I can lose it. I can't afford to lose it because of health expenses, so it means my health care is covered, but I am broke. If I worked and lost my health care, the out of pocket costs would be so great that I'd be broke then too. So, I am currently trying to work something out to make my life work. I'm in a process, little by little, I will find my way. God also is a big part of leading me in the right directions, and providing for me, even when the finances seem impossible. Many amazing people have come forward and helped me recently when I fell way behind in my rent. I am very blessed to have incredible friends and a caring spiritual community.
Two of my major focuses from December until now have been the Ark House of Prayer http://www.ihop-li.com/ and The Burn http://www.theburn247.com/longisland/
I feel called to full time service. Especially the "Night Watch" (in the near future when we will be open 24/7 and there is a Night Watch). I am doing it, as much as is possible; I do Night Watch in my home almost every night, I am really lucky that GodTV has a live feed from the Night Watch of the prayer room from the main IHOP locale in Kansas City, Mo. The other main form of ministry I feel called to is "The Burn," and besides the 14 hour Burns we do on the 4th Friday of every month, I aim to live the Burn as a lifestyle, not just something I do during that formal Burn time with others. As for the rest of how to live out the calling on my life, the path will come as far as how to minister full time and survive financially. I do believe that if God calls us to something, He will find a way to make it work for us. It's no different than being called as a Pastor or a Missionary, you're called, and somehow the money will come through for support, because if that is where God places you, He will also provide for you in that place. It involves a lot of trust, and a lot of faith. I am learning a lot about how to "be anxious for nothing". I am certainly not at the "nothing" point yet, but I try to lay as many of my worries down as possible, and let God handle things.
Our March Burn was successful and very blessed. Worship flowed from one team to the other for 14 hours. I was there from about 3PM - 1AM, and I just had a blast with everyone who was there. God was definitely in the house. I worshiped in song and through art, even though I felt a bit blocked and uninspired, I finally broke through and created something that felt effortless.
The Burn was Friday, March 28th, and on Sunday March 30th, I went to NYC to experience Todd Bentley minister. I was blasted. The Holy Ghost got me. The line was so long for the services that I could not get in for the first service, so I waited on the street for hours. It was well worth it though. The 2nd service was amazing, and he actually had more time, so it worked out in my favor in the end. At the end of speaking, he got us into lines to receive prayer and there were so many of us that our prayer line spilled out onto all of E. 7th street between 1st Ave and Ave A.! Tons of people gathered to watch as people were healed, saved and touched by the Holy Spirit. Many of us were slain in the Spirit, and ended up lying on the sidewalk under the power of the Holy Spirit (me included). I had already went under once inside the church, but it was milder than most times, and I wanted more, so I got on the prayer line in the street and went again. The 2nd time, the power of God hit me so hard, I fell back and was caught by the catchers and lowered to the concrete, and soon as I was laughing uncontrollably as the joy of the Lord hit me! It was beyond amazing. I felt soooo good. Todd's word over me was for signs and wonders. I was hoping for more specific prophecy, but hey, I'll take it; cos if I am anointed for signs & wonders that is no small potatoes.
Then this week, a very unexpected wind blew into my life in the form of a girl who had been living on the streets, and needed a place to stay, so I took her in. It's a long story, and since it someone else's story, I won't be posting details. I will just say that she came to the House of Prayer looking for help on Tuesday night, and her condition broke my heart. So, although I was woefully unprepared to take care of someone in the kind of trouble she was in, I couldn't let her go back onto the streets. As soon as we got to my house, the rain, which had been slight, suddenly turned into a downpour, and I thought about her being out in that, and it just seemed like a sign from God that her rescue was just in time. It's been a hard few days for me, cos I was so unprepared for this, but God has definitely given me the grace to see this through. Tonight she went to a sober house, but I still have all her things here, and I will be seeing her again. I am very proud of her. Despite the discomfort and uneasiness of moving a stranger into my home, it was an honor and a privilege for me to care for her these last few days. I just hope I didn't suck at it, I tried. I think, even if I did it imperfectly, I gave her some basic things she needed. A warm bed, some food, a shower, clean clothes, spiritual support, and I took her out to eat twice, and she sure needed to eat after so much hunger and deprivation. But maybe more than all that, I hope I gave her the gift of knowing that someone cares about her, that despite how the rest of the world treated her, she is not disposable. She is worth so much more than she will ever know.
Update: Things have changed since I wrote the above last night, this morning a bed opened up for her at a program run by a charity, and so I was able to get her into a safe place that ministers, provides food, shelter and care for addicts, and those in the process of quitting, like my friend. She will stay there for a few days, and then be placed in a long term program so she can rebuild her life with God’s help. I don’t think I have ever felt so proud as when we hugged and said goodbye. I know she is going to make it. I am blown away that God entrusted me, with all my flaws, to take care of one of His beloved children for a few days.
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